Bully the Secret Homo

I am 45 year old married white man in Texas with wife and two kids. in a conservative rural family.

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I grew up being bullied by my pa and local guys. 

Now, at night, I sometimes go downstairs after my wife and kids are asleep into a small locked closet, smoke weed, drink beer and sniff poppers.  Online, guys bully me, harass me, get me really fucked up and make fun of me.

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I deserve and need to be treated like shit for having secret gay thoughts.  It is the only way I know how to keep my secret dirty homosexual feelings private.  If my family found out, it could get real bad.  Lots of guns in the family and no one around here tolerates homosexuals of any kind.

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If you are a aggressive homophobic straight guy and you want to bully me, message me.  Open to anything you think will fix me:

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Domination

Severe Bullying

Physical / Verbal Abuse

Forced Intox

Verbal abuse

Hypnosis

Mindfucking

Gaslighting

Fag Conversion Therapy
Blackmail

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I know this might mean paying sometimes, but I'm looking for real bullies who enjoy this because they know I deserve to be treated like this - and they know it is the only way to set me right.